Girls
As a professional lesbian of the greater [city that I live in] area, going to a women's college, and being one myself, I would say that it is a pretty accurate statement that I know a thing or two about girls. I'd also say that in many ways I have a distinct advantage over men who want the same thing that I do with girls- primarily, relationships, a steady stream of booty, etc. I mean after all I am privy to certain information and benefits that men just can not have. That being said, I would like to point out that despite this leg up, there are definitely disadvantages that very well may deem being a lesbian just as challenging if not moreso than being a straight man when it comes to trying to get and keep women. Not to mention keeping sane during this process.
For example, to the skeptical Y-chromosome bearing readers: Think about how your girlfriend would feel if your best friend was a girl. She may pretend to be cool with it, but on the inside, even the most confident girl would not be thrilled at the idea of you spending one-on-one time with another female of no relation to you, especially when you could be doing something else more useful, like buying her jewelry or washing her car. She will resent this friend and if you are not careful it could eventually lead to a crash and burn breakup or a deterioration of the friendship.
Now, imagine this female best friend of your is someone you have already dated, or at least slept with. Your girlfriend would be livid at the mere mention of her name. Under no circumstances would she want you to be alone with this girl. If you were ever caught alone with this girl, even if you were doing nothing more exciting than playing a thrilling round of Bingo, it would be stricken immediately as a breach of trust. Your girlfriend would pitch a fit. She might even cry. One way or another, you can be damn certain that she would pull out her pink rhinestone cell phone and call every other girl she knows to talk shit about "that bitch" and moan about how good she is to you and how you treat her like dirt, you fucking asshole. And you would be labeled as a bad boyfriend, and she and every other "independent woman" she ran her mouth to would believe this to be justified.
This situation is EVERY LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP. The lesbian community is a lot smaller than the straight one, folks, especially in the south. Chances are, if you're dating a new girl, she has already dated and/or fucked at least two of your friends, maybe more, depending on the size of your town and how long she has been out. Girls are naturally quite jealous creatures but for the sake of seeming "evolved" the lesbians try to pretend that they are past it. So what if you have had sex with every person at a party? So what if your best friend is someone you still occasionally hook up with in between relationships? This creates a conundrum, because lesbians still have all of those straight girl instincts with the calling and the moaning and the labeling of the bad girlfriend, but they have to pretend that they have overcome them for the sake of avoiding constant war at every social situation. This bottling up effect creates stress and distrust, ending many relationships and starting the vicious cycle all over again as the recently singled women go in search of their new lady lovers. The lesbian tree can only grow so far, and the branches are VERY intertwined. Lesbians pass each other around like joints at a Pink Floyd concert. By the time it gets to you, who knows how many people have had their lips on it?
I am not saying that all lesbians are promiscuous or have an inordinate amount of relationships. I think they have sex with about the same number of people and about the same many monogamous relationships as anyone else, it just so happens that everyone knows each other. Heterosexuals who live anywhere with a population of greater than 5000 have the mind-easing benefit of a certain amount of anonymity where a partner's former relationships are concerned, and they certainly don't have to see the exes out at any club they go to. There is no such thing as anonymity in the recycling plant that is homosexuality, and there are only three bars that you can hold hands in and not be refused service. What's a girl to do?
I got a little carried away on that example. The point is... dating women is a ton of work and very often a total pain in the ass, for lesbians or straight men, and yet I love them so much that I keep doing it. I'm glad I have the lifestyle and advantages that I do, but sometimes it's enough to drive me insane.
Girls. Can't live with 'em, can't REALLY live without 'em.
Love,
The Sapphic Southern Belle
P.S.- I really do love my girlfriend, this is just ranting. Though she drives me insane too.
For example, to the skeptical Y-chromosome bearing readers: Think about how your girlfriend would feel if your best friend was a girl. She may pretend to be cool with it, but on the inside, even the most confident girl would not be thrilled at the idea of you spending one-on-one time with another female of no relation to you, especially when you could be doing something else more useful, like buying her jewelry or washing her car. She will resent this friend and if you are not careful it could eventually lead to a crash and burn breakup or a deterioration of the friendship.
Now, imagine this female best friend of your is someone you have already dated, or at least slept with. Your girlfriend would be livid at the mere mention of her name. Under no circumstances would she want you to be alone with this girl. If you were ever caught alone with this girl, even if you were doing nothing more exciting than playing a thrilling round of Bingo, it would be stricken immediately as a breach of trust. Your girlfriend would pitch a fit. She might even cry. One way or another, you can be damn certain that she would pull out her pink rhinestone cell phone and call every other girl she knows to talk shit about "that bitch" and moan about how good she is to you and how you treat her like dirt, you fucking asshole. And you would be labeled as a bad boyfriend, and she and every other "independent woman" she ran her mouth to would believe this to be justified.
This situation is EVERY LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP. The lesbian community is a lot smaller than the straight one, folks, especially in the south. Chances are, if you're dating a new girl, she has already dated and/or fucked at least two of your friends, maybe more, depending on the size of your town and how long she has been out. Girls are naturally quite jealous creatures but for the sake of seeming "evolved" the lesbians try to pretend that they are past it. So what if you have had sex with every person at a party? So what if your best friend is someone you still occasionally hook up with in between relationships? This creates a conundrum, because lesbians still have all of those straight girl instincts with the calling and the moaning and the labeling of the bad girlfriend, but they have to pretend that they have overcome them for the sake of avoiding constant war at every social situation. This bottling up effect creates stress and distrust, ending many relationships and starting the vicious cycle all over again as the recently singled women go in search of their new lady lovers. The lesbian tree can only grow so far, and the branches are VERY intertwined. Lesbians pass each other around like joints at a Pink Floyd concert. By the time it gets to you, who knows how many people have had their lips on it?
I am not saying that all lesbians are promiscuous or have an inordinate amount of relationships. I think they have sex with about the same number of people and about the same many monogamous relationships as anyone else, it just so happens that everyone knows each other. Heterosexuals who live anywhere with a population of greater than 5000 have the mind-easing benefit of a certain amount of anonymity where a partner's former relationships are concerned, and they certainly don't have to see the exes out at any club they go to. There is no such thing as anonymity in the recycling plant that is homosexuality, and there are only three bars that you can hold hands in and not be refused service. What's a girl to do?
I got a little carried away on that example. The point is... dating women is a ton of work and very often a total pain in the ass, for lesbians or straight men, and yet I love them so much that I keep doing it. I'm glad I have the lifestyle and advantages that I do, but sometimes it's enough to drive me insane.
Girls. Can't live with 'em, can't REALLY live without 'em.
Love,
The Sapphic Southern Belle
P.S.- I really do love my girlfriend, this is just ranting. Though she drives me insane too.
posted by sapphicsouth at
2:32 PM
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